Yours truly has forsaken his duties. Being the complete and utter bastard that I am, has gotten me into trouble. Again.
Let me tell you, my attentive reader, what happened.
Last friday I received a new game from Micropose titled ‘Gunship!’. I threw it somewhere in a corner (on top of the other 54.274 games I receive every week) and didn’t bother even looking at it. That was, of course, until my boss phoned me to ask ‘Where tha damn review’ was.
At that point, something snapped. I gave the silly game to my little sister (she’s 9) and continued my exciting, mind-dazzling game of Minesweeper.
Two days later, when I got back from the ARMF Congress in Japan (ARMF stands ‘Association for Radical Minesweeper Friends’, but you already knew that ofcourse) I found her in front of my PC, holding a joystick and trying to exterminate a small African Republic with an AH-64 Apache, which she seemed to be very good at.
Now my sister can’t leave the house anymore. I won’t let her. I saw the way she handled that joystick and it could give other boys some not so honorable ideas (don’t go there my friend, you have been warned!).
Instead I ordered her to write a review for the game (I have to practise for the minesweeper tournament next month so I’m sure you’ll understand that it was the only valid option). I haven’t read it yet. You know: so little time and so much to do.
So here goes:
“First of all I want to say that Minesweeper sucks!!!!! Good, now that’s cleared out, on to Gunship!.
What can I say? It’s a cool game!!!!. I’ve secretly played a lot of games that my brother – the pig – throws in a corner of his bedroom and although I’m only 9 years old (I’ll be 10 in July!!!!!) I’ve played a lot of flightsims. Well, it isn’t really a flightsim, because the flying is very very easy. There is an option in the game to fly more realistic but it sucks. No, it really does!!!!! There’s almost no difference between the two modes so it won’t be really challenging for the real flightsim geeks.
Another option that sucks is the fact that you can take the place of one of the two gunners. The autopilot doesn’t work well enough, so if you want some fun you have to be in the seat of the pilot (which can shoot too, don’t worry .
It’s also impossible to crash your plane, fly against trees or into building. You’ll just bounce off!!! I like this because I fly alot into trees and stuff. The graphics are also very cool, there are sunrise, rain, snow effects etc and that’s very cool to look at. But I really like the game for the action. There are four different heli’s to choose from and you have to play very tactical or you’ll get a rocket up your behind before you can say “you’re a very cool girl, will you marry me?”.
So, to wrap it up for you: flightsim lovers, dont buy!!! but action lovers: don’t let this game slip you by, it roxxx!!!!!!!
ps: if you like me then please please send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org)
pps: I haven’t got a boyfriend yet!!!!!!”