gaming since 1997

Need for Speed: Porsche 2000

Low on cash? Drivin’ a ’72 Lada that u got for ur 18th birthday? Well then need for speed 5: Porsche unleashed is what u need.

The game let’s you drive around in every f***ing possible porsche u can think of. There are porsche’s for the more “mature” driver (which gets sick when there car goes faster then 120km/h), and to be completely honest with u: THEY SUCK! What would you choose: a wreck from the late ’30’s or a lean, mean, state of the art, racing machine?

As u all can guess, I’m the more “sportive” driver (i rea-hhh-eally dig the boxster), so the first thing i did was testing the little puppies.

3…2…1…GO….off goes Daffy, speeding and passing by all of the opponents (wtf, is this game this easy?), there comes the firs turn and… there goes Daffy for a little detour (doh!). So this isn’t the arcade trip i thought it was gonna be. I get back on the track (wasn’t that a song?) and start chasing the opponents but something is wrong. A quick look to the HUD says i damaged my Porsche (WELL DUH!!!!!) and it function like it should. Hmm, did EA do some beta testing on this? :)

The game has a shitload of cool options like Evolution (guess), and a really nice mode where u are a porsche test driver and you have to compete with other drivers and complete mission like getting a car from point A to B without a scratch (factory driver). Personally i think that all those options are bollocks, cause a racing game is still about racing and not about missions and shit, but some idiots seem to like this so….. (btw this is a personal opion, my bro seems to like it -rotflmao- :))
Speaking about racing, that is where tis game rocks. No lame racing with beetles or other crappy cars, but burning rubber with the stallions of the road. And my god, the macho in me really likes this (And how are u doing, honey?). There’s nothing cooler then feeling the breeze going through my (virtual) hair.
Actually, the breeze was more like a storm to me, but i guess that’s a result of my driving stile. The cars handle real nice (especially with my gamepad) and the handbrake is usable.

About the graphs I can only say one thing : SMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOTH!!!!!!. The best I’ve seen in a racing game. At night I just wished I could step out of the car and take a look. And oh yeah, do those replays 0wn or what?

The sound in the game isn’t really that good, actually, the music is l33t (stupid cheap techno ripp offs) and the sound FX don’t get through enough, but hey, I’m human (last time i checked) so i can live with that.

So what’s to tell ’bout this game? Well it’s the best NFS game to hit the stores yet, the graphs rule and it steers nice. All u guys out there who say they can resist a porsche: STOP KIDDIN’ URSELVES, you’re all macho’s who need this game to hide your short penises :p.

Our Score:
related game: Need for Speed Porsche 2000
posted in: Electronic Arts, PC, Reviews
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