In preparation for the launch of Serious Sam 3: BFE, Mental’s Horde (NYSE: MNTL) has announced a plan to fill more than five billion henchmen positions that have opened up since the release of Serious Sam HD. While admitting company morale is low after a decade of defeat at the hands of Serious Sam representatives for the Horde have confirmed that the organization will be redoubling their efforts to take down their longtime nemesis. Interested parties are welcome to sign up at www.joinmental.com.

“We’re seeking recruits for every division from Headless Kamikazes and Scrapjacks, to accounting and risk management,” said Beth Hughes, HR director for Mental’s Horde. “But honestly we’ll accept anyone with a high school education and the willingness to have their head surgically removed.”

Potential candidates for Mental’s Horde can visit JoinMental.com to learn more about what it takes to become part of this unstoppable force:

The Headless Kamikaze: Screams of Glory – Take a look at one man’s journey from regional sales manager to Headless Kamikaze.

Serious Sam: Kamikaze Attack Demo – Give the upcoming mobile game a spin and see if you have what it takes to bring down Sam.

Scrapjack Photo App – Place your mug in the head of a Scrapjack to see what you would look like as a grotesquely overweight monster with rocket launcher arms. Fun!

“Our benefit package is outstanding and includes medical, dental and paid time off,” added Bath Hughes. “Though we don’t offer life insurance policies because, well, you’re almost certainly going to die in a hail of gunfire.”