It all starts with the lousy cut-scenes. They almost look like they aren’t prerendered at all which is bad because the graphical in-game engine is having enough trouble to keep the world the running. On top of that, they constantly draw attention to the looks because the story is so poorly told that you don’t have anything else to pass the time with. After five seconds, one knows what it is all about but yet the cut-scenes keep going on and on and on … If you forced yourself into having patience like I did, you’ll get the door slammed into your face because the each scene-climax is so daft that you want to pulverise the disc. It is nothing more than a really cheap and above all crappy “Jak & Dextar” imitation. Truly, it reminds me of a fourteen-year-old nerd trying to act like a cool pimp. Thinking to fool me with a lousy imitation, what a bunch of naïve motherfuckers!

After you’ve stared at Tak & Jok, the protagonists, running on a green screen for way to long, the level is finally loaded. I swear that if I didn’t saw them running during the whole process, I would say the programmers deliberately extended the loading times so that Tak & Jok could go fuck each other in between levels. Or perhaps the designers accidentally got stuck up with a bunch of Russian nuclear-engineers who wanted to build this game as safely as possible. If something went wrong, they sure as hell wouldn’t be able to blame them.

I guess the programmers never saw a child in real life either, they probably read about them in an old, dusty book somewhere in the taboo-section of the library because they obviously haven’t got a clue what a child wants. Not only is the concept almost nothing but recycled stuff, it isn’t elaborated properly as well and that even is and understatement. Even if I ignore the beta-state it is in (it still has true programming errors in it), the gameplaysystem is as stable as a jelly-pie in the backpack of a downhill-mountainbiker. Of course, there are moments where its shape is perfectly restored but most of the time it just waggles from one side to the other.