Rollcage: Stage 2
Doesn’t it stink that, when driving a race game and u crash, you always had to wait for the damn car to be reset?
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a car that can ride on it’s roof? You’ll probably all expect me to say: “well then Rollcage: Stage2 is your game”, but that’s were you’re all wrong: IT’S NOT KEWL!!!!!, Cars should drive in one position, and in one only.
Ask the local cops, a car runs in one way (fuel is also not “just an option”). Isn’t that what racing games are all about: keep the car on the track and on it’s wheels? This is where Psygnosis reaaaaaheallllly fucks up the scene with their stupid I-can-ride-on-my-roof cars.
For their first episode of Rollcage they did what Psygnosis is best in : Stealing, copying, invent something stupid and commercial (two sided cars, woohoo ,NOT) and then mix it all in an arcade flavour. Then after a few months (at max a year so they really make some more money on your back) they take the old release, polish the grapsh, don’t even try to hide the fact that they can’t come up with something original by putting Stage2 behind the name (just a 2 would have been a lot easyer).
But enough ’bout the lameness, let’s talk about the game. Well, the least thing i can say is that Rollcage2 is really confusing, actually I still wonder why there isn’t a barfbag included in the box because, oh my god! did i feel sick after playing this “game” (torture is more like a name).
For an example: The first race I play, 3..2..1..GO!. I hit the pedal (more like button A of my sidewinder :)), there are a lot of cars involved in one huge, terrible crash, it seems like I am the only survivor, I take the turn, there is the finish line (yeeeeah i rule), I pass it and ……noting (WHAAAAAAAAAAT???), seems like in all the action I just turned around and passed the start line again (hmm no wonder it went so easy).
And talking about getting sick, this brings me to the powerups (usual lame weapons, shields and turbo’s). All the powerups are just basic (with waaaaay too much FX), but there is one powerup that makes your car go slow and makes your monitor go completely CooCoo. After this powerup I was doubting wether to run to the toilet or get me somz aspirines (I ended up doing both).
Actually, I just realise there is only one fun thing about this game: with the turbo you can ride on the ceiling (woooohooo, for about .1 secs :)).
There isn’t much to say about the graphs and the sound. The graphs are smooth but way too much fx (only one screenshot shows enough) and the sound, well, the sound is fucked up dude!!!
During the intro (looks commercial cheap btw) you hear a techno/nodoubt kinda thing (and who wants that? –> not me), during the game u hear crappy music an not enough sound fx.
So if u like S&M or have too much cash: buy this game, but if your stomache isn’t that strong or your eyes can’t stand bright, colourfull light: Stay away from it, cause as far as I can tell, this game sux ass dude. By the way : look at the one screenshot (only took one cause i didn’t feel that good) and i rest my case 🙂